Hola fellow beings of life!
So this Sunday totally sucked big time for me because at 8:30 in the morning the father of the girl I have completely fallen for has told me to stay the *@#**!! away from his daughter. While he was chewing my head off I really wanted to tell him off because it wasn't my fault that his daughter has a smile that entrances my entire soul. So I took his rebuke willingly and tried to make it as painless as possible.
In the beginning his words scared me a ton and I felt like Brian Regan when his doctor tells him to lay off dairy: "what kind of blanket sweep was that... and no more happiness!" visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBko_3wT44Q
During church I did every thing to stay away from him but it seamed that everything I did to get away chance made it so I kept on running into him. I couldn't take it any more I was getting the eye of death, and there was going to be no more happiness in life any more, and the cause of all my problems was sitting directly in front of me.
Now that I reflect on what happened 2.5 hours later it is actually pretty funny. There is this boy that likes my younger sister and I want to kill the poor kid just because he likes my sister, so I can only imagine what this father wants to do to me. So I'm curious, for you that have younger siblings do you get defensive when someone starts to like them?
Thanks for reading my woes of life,
~Ukulele kid
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5 comments:
HAHA
Thanks for telling me you're the ukulele kid. I was trying to figure out who Taylor Phillips was.
But yeahh, I know exactly what you mean.
There's this ridiculous group of girls that are obsessed with my little brother. They call him everyday, bring him pies, and other embarrassing things. They know I don't like them but they won't leave me alone. One of them bought me new cleats for my birthday.
As to why I don't like them, I really don't know. I guess it just bugs me that ANYONE could like my obnoxious 15 year old brother. Plus they try too hard. And my brother doesn't really like any of them, He just keeps talking to them because he knows they'll keep bringing him cake and do his history homework. Which is horrible.
I probably didn't answer your question, I think I just wanted to complain.
My brother is 6 years older than me. He was 19 when I started going on dates. He would always have me bring my dates home so he could interrogate them and give them the seal of approval, saying stuff like "you break her heart, I break your face." But the weird thing is that he never once approved of any of the guys I brought home when I was growing up, even when I was dating his best friend, it wasn't good enough. I never realized until I got older that he was just trying to look out for me, and I appreciate it now. It's funny how he was actually right with not liking any of the guys, he could see their flaws clearly when I was looking through a rose colored lense.
My brother has recently begun to have me meet his dates to get my seal of approval...And not one of them is the type of woman I'd like him to date. So I don't necessarily think that it's being the older sibling that causes this type of judgement to take place, I think it's love of your family and wanting them to have the best possible.
As a father, I can tell you that I have never yet approved of any of the boyfriends my oldest daughter has brought home. Perhaps it's because, being protective, I am over critical of the boys my daughter is interested in. I can concede that one boyfriend is better than his predecessor and I note their qualities, but it's typically their failings I focus on. Maybe that's a poor stance, but I like to look at it as the balance to my daughter's pretty perfect picture of her current boyfriend. Like Chelle stated, you tend to view people in new relationships with rose colored glasses.
Aside from all that, though, I try to keep a level head. I meet the boys, make my thinly veiled threats, and otherwise try to keep my opinions to myself. I may not like my daughter's choice in boys, but unless they give me a reason to bear my claws, I smile and remind myself that they make my daughter happy... for now.
I think, Taylor, that your situation is not uncommon. If you really care about the girl, I wouldn't let his parents get in your way, but remember to remain respectful. Honestly, if you don't give them any true reason to justify their anger or dislike of you, most parents are forced to be reasonable or risk alienating their child.
My younger sister has never had a boyfriend at the age of 16 but last month asked two boys to a dance and they both "respectfully declined".
I'm not really sure how i felt about that because of the kind of boys she can attract. But i think i felt mostly indiferent because the dates never came to pass. I think i was really upset that neither of the boys she asked would go with her when she was so excited to attend the dance.
I know this sounds weird but i have an older brother that i worry about more than my younger sister because he tends to attract girls that are uncommitted and end up breaking his heart and then i find out he is back with that same girl 4 months later.
I think no matter who you are if someone you care about was hurt by someone esle or can be potentially lost by the formation of a relationship anyone would be protective.
I've had a really good friend from my first college named Courtney that i did this same thing with. I had known her for about a year when i found out she had a serious boyfriend that i wasn't sure was right for her. Plus they were moving through the relationship really fast and i warned her in the spirit of caring and protection that it was going fast. Next thing i know she was engaged and one day i was talking to her on the phone and just started to cry because i thought i was going to lose her to a guy that she possibly cared about MORE than me. She said that was rediculous.
I think this experience is appropriate for what you went through with your girls father and what eventually all of us go through.
That, my friend, is a complicated situation. I'm sorry. I happen to be that crazy overprotective older brother. I have a sister thatis now 20 years old. And man is she different. But throughout her adolescense she rarely brought boys home, especially boys that were more than friends. Why? Because I constantly glared at them, said mean things to them (really really mean) and just generally let them know that they were not welcome to date my sister. And she always complained about it. But I thought that it was the right thing to do. Just protecting her, you know? So I eventually got it together and decided to serve a mission (you know, two years out of the country) and when I got back I almost fainted! In my absence my sister had begun bringing boys home, beiung open about what was going on with them, and basically forgotten about her protective older brother. I thus decided to remind her. But it just wasn't the same. She was older, she could decide for herself, I just wasn't needed anymore. It was rough, rough I tell you. So I took a different approach.I just eased up. I started to let her do her thing and I began to feel a sense of relief. She actaully WAS capable of knowing right from wrong! I realized that although I had just wanted to help my littloe sister, I had damaged in a small way our closeness. She couldn't tell me about boys as I would have blown up. So we just weren't as close as we could have been. And all I really had to do was lighten up. I assure you that this girls father is doing what he thinks is right. And since I don't know her or you very well, I am not all that sure if it is right. But I do know that it really is hard to just let them go.It is an issue of love and caring, however ill-expressed it might be. I never really understood that I wasn't going about it the best way possible. It wasn't until I decided to let up on my own that my view point changed. So take that into account and just wait to see what happens I guess. Good luck.
-The kid who sits behind the pole
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