I have been contemplating the way(s) that our increasing devotion to technology has affected the ways we communicate with each other and develop realationships. One obvious part of this discussion is the issue of Internet dating. I am really curious to hear your opinions on this topic. There are, of course, convincing arguments for dating online (you can find who/what you are looking for a lot easier; it gives you access to a larger "dating pool"; you can communicate and find out if there is any real compatability beyond physical attraction), but there are also a lot of reasons not to do it (first and foremost, there are a lot of freaks in the world, and many of them spend a lot of time online; the people you meet often live too far away for a real relationship; you can't know if you have chemistry with someone until you meet that person face to face; people are fake online, putting forth a false, or idealized, version of themselves). These are all arguments I have heard, not necessarily my own arguments. I'm sure you have heard these arguments, or similar ones.So my question to you is this: Is online dating a good thing? Is it improving or hindering the way we meet and fall in love? Is it speeding up an outdated process or taking all of the fun and tradition out of what my grandparents would call "courting"? Feel free to share personal experiences. Do you meet people online? Do you have success stories? Horror stories? I am really interested in hearing your views on this topic, as well as your own diverse experiences.
~D
3 comments:
Online dating can be very dangerous and can get people into some very dangerous situations. Online dating has just recently become popular among single, marriage desiring individuals. I can understand that talking to someone over the computer is enjoyable and fun, but when it comes to dating or having a steady relationship with a person it should be done face to face. I think there is no better interaction like face to face communication with a person you care about. In all honesty texting and e-mail just should not cut it. I think that the best way to get to know someone new is face to face in person. The ideal of people faslifying themselves on the internet is an aspect that worries me. You think you are talking to Bob who is 27 and likes long walks on the beach, but really you are talking to Jim who is 97, cant walk, and hates the beach. Who knows who you really are talking to this day in age. Anyone can find a picture of an attractive individual and pretend the picture is what they really look like. Another aspect is the whole lets meet in a dark alley idea. Many people set a date and spot to meet. Oftentimes the meeting is the scariest most dissapointing part of internet dating. When you have an engraven idea of this person, you generally expect him or her to appear how he or she has told you they look or how they looked in the photos he or she sent you, which can oftentimes lead to dissapointment if they look completely different than you observed. Lets face it people sometimes get fat, have major cosmetic surgery or even have aged ten years from when they took the picture that they use for their internet dating ten years before. I am not really against internet dating. I feel that it is a persons preference, but I have never found internet dating appeling or something that I intend to try. Lets stick to dinner and a movie in person :).
I think that online dating can be good or bad. It really just depends on the person that is trying it and also how smart they are about it. You can take certain safeguards to avoid the dangerous situations.
You hear a lot of horror stories about meeting people on the internet. The media in general seems to have a particular interest in advertising all the bad. I'm sure this is because it sells more. It's certainly true that there are plenty of wackos out there surfing the net, but there is plenty of good to be had from the internet as well.
I speak from experience. I met my wife online. I've never used an online dating service and personally don't put much stock into such organizations whether they are online or not. I met my wife on a chat dealing with a novel series that we both personally enjoy a great deal. To make a long story short,(8 years, or so, and running)my wife did something that made me a little angry. We began to argue on the chat and eventually decided to move it to a private conversation, rather than continue to bother the other chatters. Well, I realized she was actually a nice person, and I think she decided I was too. We continued to talk and, over time, we exchanged phone numbers and began to converse that way. Eventually, She decided to visit me in Wisconsin (Where I lived. My wife has lived in Utah all her life.) We spent a week together and it was great. Eventually I came here to visit and I decided to stay. About a year and a half later, we were married and I was the proud father of four children. That's right, we finished having our children before we even met! Try explaining that one to mom. It wasn't (isn't) easy.
On top of that, we have many good friends, nationally and internationally, that we have met online. We visit them when we can, they visit us here at times. We had friends from California, Washington, Oklahoma, and Australia, all attend our wedding, as well as my family from Wisconsin. We got married in Las Vegas. (It was not a shot gun wedding, thank you very much. Weddings in Vegas can actually be very nice, and a great deal easier than some monstrosities I've attended.)
The trick to meeting people online is to be smart and safe about it. Get pictures. Video Chat. Talk on the phone first. If you go to meet someone, go with a friend if you can. At the very least, make sure friends and family know where you are going, what you will be doing, and who you are meeting. My wife and I always tell our family that we will call them between a certain time period every day of our trip, so that they know everything is going okay.
There are a lot of wackos on the internet, but they come from the real world. You're no safer at your local hang out than you are online if you're not smart about it.
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